Forget Forspoken, Atomic Heart’s dialogue could be the worst of the year

characteristics

Crunchy critters!

To say that Forspoken has been absolutely lauded by gaming outlets for its writing quality would be a meteoric understatement. Even before Square Enix’s action RPG even launched, social media was overflowing with it memes and gifs skewer the game’s campy tone and dialogue. Yes, Forspoken’s writing was hammy and cheesy, but was it really as bad as everyone made it out to be? I leave it to you to judge.

What I’m saying is this: Atomic Heart came along and snatched the crown from Forspoken’s Noggin because – crispy critters – The dialogue in Mundfish’s latest alternate history sci-fi shooter is the absolute pits, and not in such a bad, it’s kinda good way. nope It’s just one of those rare examples of just being so bad that it, well, really, really is BAD.

‘It can’t be that terrible!’ I hear you screaming at your screens. Um, here are a few select quotes from our key man, Major Sergei Nechaev (aka P-3):

Fuck a shingle!

Crunchy shit…where’s the frigging way out of here?!

What the hell is going on here?

fuck me sideways…

The poor script doesn’t just extend to the main character, however. That’s right, we’re looking at you, Nora, the perverted upgrade machine who just wants to piss you off for…reasons. Here is just a foretaste:

Oh what a stud! I can’t get enough of your jocks! Let me tie you to the bed baby!

How sparkling! Rebellious dominant men really turn me on!

A quick romp with your ax is just a taste of what’s to come, pretty beast!

Look, in a vacuum, some of these lines probably don’t even sound all that outrageous, but taken as a whole, Atomic Heart will make your ears bleed seriously. Compounding the problem is the fact that the story isn’t very well written either.

Yes, Atomic Heart’s alternate history of the Soviet Union is interesting and unique, but the beat-to-beat story is rubbish at worst and just passable at best. After listening to the bad writing and crass jokes in Mundfish’s first-person shooter action-RPG, it’s fair to say that, retrospectively, it helped put Forspoken in a much better light. No small thing, indeed.

Maybe it’s the overly aggressive, macho delivery or the incessant vulgar banter, but Atomic Heart’s dialogue is incredibly memorable for all the wrong reasons and has rolled my eyes more times than I can count. Long story short, there’s a reason why the developer wants you to play the game in Russian. I drop my case.