When gay individuals come out, some of them think their life will change dramatically for the better. For some part, it’s true. They finally get the chance to be out and proud, expressing themselves the way they are without the need to hide. But when it comes to romance, it turns out that finding someone to date is almost as hard as it was before. So, what are the reasons for that, and what challenges do gay people face in the love department?
Mixed Signals from the Guys around You
The well-known “no homo, bro” jokes have been around for a long time, and they don’t seem to be losing their popularity anytime soon. And while some people laugh at them at any given opportunity, if you are gay, you may find them not only confusing but also kind of rude. It’s always a huge problem to understand whether a guy is flirting with you in a subtle way or his actions are a part of another joke. There are also many guys who either haven’t come out yet and are scared of flirting openly because of the risks of being judged or are just too shy. It’s even harder to understand whether a man wants something serious or is looking for a quick hookup.
Having gotten tired of trying to guess, many gay men worldwide switched to online dating to seek love and casual relationships. And that’s no wonder since online matchmaking platforms are made specifically for dating purposes in the first place. Thus, any man looking for a man to date can choose a platform that suits his needs – casual or traditional – create an account, and chat with gay guys from his city. And there’s no need to guess anymore; people on dating sites know the purpose of why they are here.
Accepting Your Vulnerability Is Hard
When it comes to couples where one of the partners has not long ago realized that he is gay and is still trying to sort himself out, another issue arises. Men usually find it hard to express vulnerability, so accepting a more passive position in a relationship may be even harder than coming out. However, such cases are pretty rare since, normally, a man knows beforehand whether he is a more masculine or feminine type. Some men realize it during a relationship by interacting with their partner. Depending on what lifestyle a gay man pursues, his passive role in a relationship may be determined long before he enters into a relationship with another man.
Your Partner May Still Be Closeted
Another huge problem many gay men (and LGBT representatives in general) face is when their partner is yet to come out. Some couples date for years without being able to express fondness when among friends, let alone in public. At first sight, it’s not a huge problem, especially if you want to be with that person no matter what. But imagine pretending you’re “just friends” every time you go somewhere. You’re always worried about people finding out you’re dating, and you’re always thinking about what will happen if they eventually find out. It drains you out completely, which leads to frustration and, in many cases, to break-ups.
There are gay men, though, who find the courage to come out thanks to the person they want to be with. Especially if such couples live in places where being gay is not frowned upon. Getting into a serious relationship may become a jump start to becoming out and proud.
Fewer People Are Looking for Serious Dating
Finding lasting love is quite the task in the modern world of rushing and lack of time. More and more people refuse to commit, choosing casual dates over something meaningful. And if heterosexual individuals struggle with finding someone genuine to date, things are getting only harder when it comes to the gay community, and there are two reasons for that.
1. The gay community is limited, and the smaller the city you live in, the lower chances of finding gay people, let alone gays seeking serious relationships. However, thanks to the opportunities that Web resources provide us with, this problem can be fixed by using a gay dating site.
2. According to statistics, the percentage of bisexuals prevails over gays, and the number of fake “bisexuals” is even bigger. This means that the chances of meeting a straight guy in his “experimental” phase are much higher than meeting a gay guy and even higher when compared to the chances of finding a gay who wants a serious relationship.
Being a gay person has always been hard, but finding the One is even harder, even considering how much approval the LGBT community gets nowadays compared to the past. Still, if you are gay yourself, it’s better to fight for your happiness than to live your whole life in the shadows. Any obstacle can be overcome if you make an effort.