Former Australian of the Year Grace Tame revealed that the worst advice you can give a trauma victim is to “get over it” while she deals with backlash she’s received as a lawyer.
Tame said the phrase was the “most culturally ignorant” she had heard since she began her work as an advocate for sex abuse survivors after being sexually groomed herself as a teenager.
“The nature of child care and sexual abuse is such that as children age and grow, so does the trauma,” she told The Project’s Carrie Bickmore on Monday.
“It doesn’t matter how big you are physically or tough or smart, once you’re traumatized, your neural pathways are permanently altered.
“It’s not a force of logic, it’s a force of nature.
Grace Tame’s memoir The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner (cover photo pictured above) is slated for release on Tuesday
“Of all the culturally ignorant phrases I’ve heard in my time as a lawyer, ‘just get over it’ is probably the worst, if only because it’s scientifically impossible.”
In her book The Ninth Life of a Diamond Miner, Tame talks about being nursed and molested by her 58-year-old teacher Nicolaas Bester when she was just 15, and how she struggles with the trauma following the abuse.
Tame was a student at St Michael’s Collegiate School, an Anglican girls’ school in Hobart, when she was abused by Bester.
In 2011, the math teacher was sentenced to two years and 10 months in prison after pleading guilty to “maintaining a relationship with a youth under the age of 17” and possessing material related to child exploitation.
Bester served a year and nine months in prison and went on to complain that his conviction had cost him “everything”, including his standing in the community.
Former Australian of the Year Grace Tame said the “most culturally ignorant” advice a person can give someone dealing with trauma is to “just get over it”.
Tame (pictured accepting her 2021 Australian of the Year award) said she was determined that online threats from her former abuser, Nicolaas Bester, would not ruin the launch of her book
In her lengthy interview on Monday, Tame addressed threats allegedly made by Bester via Twitter, describing a “revenge plan” coinciding with the publication of her book on Tuesday.
The ominous tweets included Tame’s childhood email address, which she used to create a Facebook account to speak with Bester when she was being groomed.
Tame revealed that she couldn’t get any help from the police to stop the onslaught of threats because they can’t officially prove Bester was behind the account.
However, she said she was determined the tweets wouldn’t ruin her book’s launch.
“It’s hard, but I really want to focus on the positive and not talk about it any further,” Tame said.
Tame addressed rumors that her incident with former Prime Minister Scott Morrison was not the result of her autism diagnosis but stemmed from a genuine dislike for the ex-PM (pictured Mr Morrison and Tame outside The Lodge in January).
When Tame explained why she had a stone face for an event with the Prime Minister in January (above), she called Mr Morrison “lying, rotting, mysterious”.
Tame also took the opportunity to discuss her infamous side-eye photos with former Prime Minister Scott Morrison.
She said the look “certainly had nothing” to do with her autism diagnosis, according to rumors online.
“It was because he was a lying, rotting, mysterious… You can fill in the blanks,” she said.
She then evoked the massive criticism she received after the look, which lasted just “a matter of seconds.”
“When people get more upset about rudeness, which is subjective, than raping a child, that says a lot about what’s wrong in society,” she said.
“We constantly and disproportionately point the finger of guilt and shame at children and at people coping with abuse who might be abusing drugs, they might misstep and trip.
“Where is the appropriate shaming, blaming and questioning of the people who abuse them and hurt them in the first place?”
In her new book, Tame admits she was also assaulted when she was just six years old and turned to alcohol and illegal drugs to cope after being nursed by Bester.
She said she’s used cocaine and weed, even worked on a pot farm at one point, and “genuinely enjoyed” getting high at times.
However, she said she no longer takes drugs.
https://www.soundhealthandlastingwealth.com/uncategorized/grace-tame-reveals-the-worst-advice-to-give-trauma-victims-ahead-of-book-release/ Grace Tame shares the worst advice to give trauma victims before the book is published