Leslie Jones is disappointed in the near-fight that took place in the Senate on Tuesday, but not because Oklahoma Sen. Markwayne Mullin did anything. No – the comedian’s displeasure has to do with Bernie Sanders breaking things up.
“Back off, Bernie! Bernie, shut up, they were about to argue! I wanted to see that!” Jones said on her second night as guest host of “The Daily Show” on Comedy Central. “Is this what America has come to, the people fighting in the Senate? Because if so, then I want in.”
“Lindsey Graham, I want you in the ring. Ted Cruz, bring your funny ass beard so I can beat your ass. Mitch! Mitch! Mitch!” Jones shouted as he watched the widely shared video of McConnell freezing. “Oh, someone already hit him.”
On Tuesday, Mullin challenged International Brotherhood of Teamsters President Sean O’Brien to a dispute over a series of posts on X O’Brien that were sent to Mullin. Sanders quickly diffused the confrontation, shouting, “You are a United States Senator!”
Jones mocked Mullin, saying she knew he was “trouble” as soon as she heard his name.
“His parents didn’t even love him enough to choose a single name for him,” Jones said, adding, “That’s what you hear when you watch an episode of ‘Cops.’
The comedian wasn’t content to just poke fun at the Senate, as Jones also took aim at the Supreme Court at the start of her opening monologue. On Monday, the country’s highest court made and passed a law for the first time in its history. This change comes in the wake of revelations that Justice Clarence Thomas received gifts and trips from Republican donor Harlan Crow and that Justice Samuel Alito failed to disclose a fishing trip with Republican donor Paul Singer.
Jones called the code of ethics “so embarrassing.”
“The Supreme Court didn’t need a code of ethics for thousands of years until these corrupt bastards came along,” she said.
The comedian had little faith that this new code would result in meaningful change, but she has a suggestion for what will happen. “If you want to hold people accountable, you have to be able to fire them,” Jones said to applause.
She compared her stint on the Supreme Court to her time at UPS. “I did a good job because I could get fired. “But if I couldn’t get fired, do you know how many things I would have done with the packages?” Jones said.