Stephen Colbert imagines the perfect campaign ad for Republicans who keep picking fights (Video)

Stephen Colbert often mocks the near-constant chaos that befalls elected Republicans. So it’s no surprise that on Wednesday he took particular delight in the latest examples of the problem – interpersonal conflicts that a Republican congressman embarrassingly sought to escalate into literal violence.

And to roast this mess, Colbert has concocted the perfect campaign commercial for an incredibly violent candidate who embodies the bumbling attitude of wannabe tough Republicans.

We are of course referring to two different incidents. First, there’s former House Speaker Kevin McCarthy, who elbowed Tennessee Rep. Tim Burchett in the back in front of NPR reporter Claudia Grisales on Tuesday. Burchett responded by calling out McCarthy and calling him, among other things, “pathetic.” McCarthy later denied this with some harsh words.

Then there’s the even stranger moment later in the day when Oklahoma Senator Markwayne Mullins tried to start a literal fistfight with Teamsters leader Sean O’Brien during a Senate hearing. Mullins, angered by O’Brien’s accurate comments about his economic background, even went so far as to stand up as if he was really about to go down and throw punches. He backed down after committee chairman Bernie Sanders (yes, him) admonished him: “You’re a U.S. senator.”

The Guardian, Osama Bin Laden

Later that day, Mullins appeared on NewsMax There, among other things, he cited the example of Charles Sumner, the abolitionist senator from Massachusetts, who was beaten nearly to death in the Senate in 1856 by slavery proponent Preston Brooks of South Carolina, as a precedent for why it would have been perfectly fine for him to make his threats actually put into action.

As for Colbert, he used new House Speaker Mike Johnson’s budget agreement to wade into the issue – Johnson passed the budget thanks to cooperation with Democrats, which led to McCarthy being thrown out of office in October.

So Colbert shared the details we explained above and had a lot of fun with some of the more surreal moments. While he spoke about these incidents as if he were a ring announcer at the Republican “Fight Club.”

“It is not surprising that violence is the selling point for the Republican Party. In fact, the 2024 Republican candidates are already adopting this strategy,” Colbert said when addressing the fake ad. “Just look at this new Republican primary.”

And then he launched the fake commercial for a contestant named Patricia Corker (obviously played by an actress).

“It’s a difficult time in America and we need common-sense solutions to real problems,” “Corker” said at the start of the ad. “Problems like punk ass congressmen whose kidneys need a visit from my elbow. I am a candidate to support Wisconsin Fourth District Clerk Patricia Corker, known to my enemies as ‘Stable Pat.’

“I worked as a public school teacher for 10 years and in supermax school for 20 years because I cried and pleaded guilty because I’m proud of what I did to that man’s sack. And I will do it again for you and Congress. So vote Patricia for better jobs. Patricia for a better future. Patricia for cutting up a bitch. I will burn their houses and laugh at the ashes like an avenging angel of pain. I’m Patricia Corker and I don’t even feel it,” the ad ended.

Now watch it above.

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