Team USA loses Show to 3-9 San Francisco Giants

Mike Trout, Mookie Betts, Trea Turner, Nolan Arenado, Pete Alonso, Paul Goldschmidt, Kyle Schwarber. With a roster like this, you would expect Team USA Baseball to dominate every game they play. They will completely destroy Britain in their first game of the World Baseball Classic this Saturday, but fans were dying to see this squad in action ahead of this game and that wish was granted as they faced the San Francisco Giants in a spectacle yesterday.

Oh well… ah… That was unexpected. Well obviously this game means nothing so who cares that they lost but it’s still shocking that it happened and by a decent margin. It’s not that Team USA didn’t try. Miles Mikolas was the starter, and even when he was drawn after 2.2 innings, he was replaced by star reliefs David Bednar, Adam Ottavino and Ryan Pressly. Team USA’s lineup included Betts, Trout, Goldschmidt – who was responsible for the team’s only run – and most of the team’s starting lineup.

What’s even more embarrassing is that we’re talking about the Giants here. Through spring training, her record is 3-9. With those three wins, her combined run differential is +4. They reached that total in their only game against Team USA. Each of the Giants’ last four spring training games has been a loss of four or more runs. They were terrible this spring, but when the Goliath that is Team USA’s line-up challenges them, do they suddenly morph into their early 2010s dynasty? Maybe Team USA just sucks.

Luckily, Team USA is next Exhibition looked a little better with Nolan Arenado scores a grand slam to bring the United States to the board.

They’re better than they were last night, and that’s good news for us Americans. Can you imagine the shame our country would feel if we lost to Britain in baseball? We would have to dissolve the nation after such an embarrassment. That would be almost as bad as England having to settle for a football draw against the USA. Unfortunately that has never happened, and definitely not at the last World Cup, right?

Remember after the USA drew Wales in a game of pool and those rascals across the pond were talking all that shit. What Happened After, hmm? We tied up their stupid asses. We laughed last. Those redcoats didn’t know what hit them and on Saturday I expect an absolute bloodbath the likes of which the British have not seen since the Battle of Trenton. However, a sizeable loss to the pathetic Giants, who didn’t even play their full major league roster, doesn’t inspire much confidence.

The Brits want revenge for the embarrassment we inflicted on them on November 25, 2022 and Team USA cannot allow that to happen. Perhaps for the best, they lost their first exhibition game. It will remind them that they are not untouchable. Even the largest lineup can be crushed if they let their guard down enough.

Hopefully Team USA have learned their lesson and will represent us well this weekend. The United Kingdom has never beaten the United States. Not in 1776, not in 1812, not in 2022, and it certainly won’t happen in 2023. I’m not worried about last night’s loss. It should just give the Brits hope before we drop a 20 burger on them! HUZZAH!