Trevor Bauer, who hasn’t been signed by MLB teams, goes to Japan

If baseball fans out there are just a tad more elated, or look in the mirror and think they’re having a good day — or maybe had the motivation to add just one more rep or set to their workout this morning — then there is The reason for this. We as a society have been successful punted Trevor Bauer from our country!

Although I’m not actually Deportation (and only deportation by catapult onto a garbage ship would have been appropriate) Apparently Bauer found no employment opportunities on these shores. Or at least none to his liking, so in Japan he will sign with the Yokohama DeNA BayStars of Japan’s Central League. He’ll make 4 million yen — about $3 million at the current exchange rate — which is obviously way too much, but should keep him fairly rich in live toads and larvae to eat.

Bauer’s thoughts on Japanese culture should be a real treat, as we know he can never keep a thought to himself. He’ll likely put up gonzo numbers there too, which is probably his hope. ideal for farmers, He’ll compile stats so blatant that next winter some MLB team will convince themselves to give him a deal by the passage of time, his talents, any false regrets he (maybe) can patch up, and some more ridiculous gossip about his dedication to going abroad for a year.

It’s honestly shocking that no MLB team has done so this offseason, and is a measure of how toxic Bauer has become. This is still an all-star level pitcher who basically came as close to being for nothing with what the Dodgers have on the hook to pay him and the sheer nuclear waste of a personality and behavioral traits, the farmer brings. It almost certainly wasn’t the misconduct with which Bauer was accused (he was never charged and denies complicity in any wrongdoing) that made MLB teams mad at him, because there are many players banned for allegations of domestic violence in major league rosters these days. But it seems that the fact that so many of Bauer’s former ones teammates have come to revile him as well this strange statement He issued statements that appear misleading at best, enough to convince 30 MLB teams that it certainly wasn’t worth the trouble.

It’s not the California Penal League and Japanese baseball and its fans certainly do not deserve what is being done to them. But sometimes you just have to say: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” With Bauer we can finally do that. I can’t wait to find out who he chooses to sue over there.